9/30 Things - Influential People

        We are impacted by everyone we meet and every experience we have, in one way or another.  Sometimes we can be influenced by those we have never met, but have read about or know of.  Those influences can be either good, bad, or neutral.  Usually, those who make the biggest impact on our lives will be remembered for always.  I chose the people on this list because they have made an impact on my life in one way or another.  I honestly don't think of myself as a very easily influenced person, but I wanted to do this challenge, so I'm just going to go with what pops in my head!

1. Jesus.  He died on the cross not just for me but for everyone, and has given us the gift of eternal life. 
2. My husband.  He loves me unconditionally, and we have grown a lot together as a couple, as parents, and both in maturity and spirituality.  He is my life partner, and he has taught me so much.
3. My pastor.  He has a hunger for God that I have not seen in many people.
4. My mom. She's the most selfless person I know, she would do anything for anyone without thinking twice.
5. My mother-in-law.  She's an extremely hard worker, and she's one of the most forgiving and loving people I've ever met.
6. Gianna Jessen. While I haven't had the chance to meet her, she's been such an inspiration and has encouraged me to fight for the pro-life cause, and fight to end abortion.  She survived an abortion attempt in her mother's womb which left her disabled (but not defeated!), and now is a strong voice for the unborn.

        I struggled to think of more than 6 (the challenge was for 10) so I left it at that.  What does it take for someone to earn a spot on your list?

8/30 Things - 5 Passions

        Fittingly enough, after just posting about Passion Monday, my blog challenge for the day is on 5 passions!  Passion describes an intense, and "barely controllable" emotion.  When we are passionate about something, we are obsessed with it and put our all into it.  Passion is aggressive, strong, and full of feeling.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/passion

1. Pro-life - I am VERY passionate about being pro-life.  I believe that God put this on my heart, and it is a huge passion of mine.  I hope to be able to start a boarding house in the future to help mothers facing unplanned pregnancies.  I try to educate as many people as I can on the dangers and truths of abortion, and help both the babies AND the mothers/fathers/families involved.  All life is precious.
2. Attachment Parenting - Cosleeping/bedsharing, breastfeeding, babywearing, gentle parenting, having a deep connection and open/honest relationship with one's children.
3. My Marriage/Family - This kind of goes along with the attachment parenting theme... Being close and spending quality time together.  Making time for each other.
4. Relationship with God - This is above all, the most important foundation for building any relationship.  I am passionate about seeking God.  To be completely honest, I had more passion when I was first saved, but I am striving towards getting that passion back.  I pray and ask God to give me a thirst for His word, and to help me spend more time seeking him and sharing the good news with others.
5. Food - Well, I love baking and cooking, so this is a no-brainer.  I love finding new recipes, preparing my ingredients, and just the whole process!

7/30 Things - Dream Job

        Some little girls dream about being princesses when they grow up. Some, however, are more realistic.  Usually, our ideal job / career is different than what we imagined it to be in our childhood.  Personally I've changed my mind several times over the years.  I recall reading somewhere that the part of our brains responsible for rational thinking and decision making don't even form until our mid-twenties.  That explains a lot - about a lot.

        As a youngin', I dreamt of being a veterinarian, oddly enough I don't even really like animals now.  I mean don't get me wrong, if I see a turtle crossing a highway I'll stop to help him, or if I see a cute kitten I'll oogle over it for about 70 seconds, but that's about it... After I realized what being a vet entailed, I moved on to bigger and better aspirations.  Next up was psychologist.  To this day, I'm still quite fascinated by psychology, and if I had the patience and determination to withstand the years of schooling - I don't- I might pursue this field!  Another fascination of mine was being a lawyer.  This is another one that, through the years, has stuck with me as an interesting and desirable field.  My only qualms about this (besides my father telling me I'd have to read a ton of books on law, and I'd never stop reading because there would always be something new to learn) is the concept that most lawyers "lie".  I don't like liars.  Point blank period exclamation point times infinity.  I mean, yeah I understand that you don't "have" to lie, but I've always been under the impression that they twist the truth at the least.

        Now, back to reality.  My dream "job" would be to own my own bakery. Whether that is from home, or a store-front is up for debate.  I am currently working on a business plan to sell baked goods and food from home for now, with the prospect of eventually making it "big".  That said, my true dream "job" wouldn't be considered a job in the sense that I wouldn't be getting paid.  One day I hope for us to be able to build an addition onto our house (probably not our current house, but who knows) and have boarding available for crisis pregnancies.  I would like to work with a local pregnancy center to help young / scared moms facing unplanned pregnancies have a place to stay, learn, and raise their babies until they are stable enough to be on their own.  I would want to help them in any way that I could including cooking for them, giving them rides, providing clothing, helping them find work while providing childcare while they work, etc...

        Ideally, I could run my bakery along with this boarding house, and the bakery would help fund this (non-profit) project.  I want us to be comfortable and happy, rich isn't the goal.  I mean, don't get me wrong, the occasional cruise / vacation would be great, and having the latest laptop wouldn't be too bad either (I love my internet), but a dream job should be your passion, not avenue to riches.

6/30 Things - The Hardest Thing

        It's hard to pinpoint the hardest thing that I've ever experienced.  Having been a young mom in a unhealthy relationship at the time, that would probably be near the top of my list, except for the fact that I had the immense support of my mother and father to help me.  Although I was originally super apprehensive about them finding out about my pregnancy, they were very loving and supportive.  I thank God every day that my parents were pro-life and never even suggested abortion, although that would have been the "easy way out" at the time.

        I think back to a friend I had, the same age as me, earlier that same year, who found herself with an unplanned pregnancy.  Her child would have been mere months older than my son.  I still sometimes imagine what it would have been like.  Would we still be friends?  Would our children be friends?  It literally breaks my heart to think about, and I don't think I'll ever completely get over it.  Part of me hurts because, although I was 15/16 years old, I can't help but think that maybe there was something that I could have said to change her mind.  In the back of my mind, I know that there is nothing I could have done, but it still haunts me.

        Anyway, yes being a young mom was hard.  But I wouldn't change anything if I could.  My son is such an intelligent, funny, and caring kid.  He's also a big brother now, and he just loves his sister to pieces.  I wouldn't take back any of the difficult moments in my life, because I feel that during those moments is when we are shaped and molded into what we are today.  The difficulties we face define us, and how we deal with them empowers us to face what's ahead.

5/30 - 5 Things That Make Me Happy

        Happiness.  Feeling pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.  A state of well-being and contentment.  How many people today can say that they are truly happy?  I don't mean the kind of happy that you feel on those days when you wake up and manage to not stub your toe while heading to Wawa to find out that they have your favorite pumpkin spice coffee when you arrive, your work day goes smooth and quick, & before you know if you're home and the kids already have their homework finished and your husband decides to take you out to dinner and give you the night off.  No, not that kind.  That's superficial happiness.  Temporary bliss.  Tomorrow your dog might pee on your new Coach purse, or you might break a nail before you even leave the house, and then it's all downhill from there.  I'm talking about unshakable happiness.  Joy, actually.  The kind of happiness that doesn't come and go, it stays with you, it is you.  Joy that fills your heart, and although the storms may come, you will not be shaken, you will not be stirred.  Yes, you're allowed to pout, you can even cry, but at the end of the day you know where your joy comes from and you don't let life get you down.

        So, for this challenge, I'm asked to list 5 things that make me happy "right now".  I'm assuming that it's referring to superficial things and not asking me to get super deep here, but whatever, I'm as deep as an ocean baby, so deal.

1. My husband - He makes me happy most of the time, except for those times when he doesn't. HA!  That's where love comes in!  Love is caring for each other even when you're angry.  We are genuinely happy with one another, so even when we have disagreements like every married couple does, we work through them and become stronger!
2. My kids - They make me happy most of the time too!  Right now my daughter is too young to make me mad, and she's just too darn squishy cute too!  My son is at that age where he's testing boundaries, and learning to talk back, although he's mostly respectful and usually corrects himself quickly!  I love spending time with them and watching them learn, play, and grow!
3. Being a stay at home mommy - I love being able to devote myself fully to my husband, children, and home. 
4. Cooking/Baking - One of my favorite past times... I get such a thrill making stuff in the kitchen, and the best part is the faces of family & friends when they taste and love my creations!
5. Blogging/Browsing Facebook/Pinterest/Internet in general - This is a given.  It's so relaxing and fun!

4/30 Things - Letter to my 16 year old self

        I am switching this up a bit from 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self if you could to just writing a letter to my 16 year old self.  Reason being, I don't know if I can genuinely come up with 10 things.  Heck, there might be more or there might be less, I won't know until I start.  I think that a letter format would be much easier and more heartfelt anyhow, so feel free to improvise too if you are following along with your very own blog challenge.  This is about having fun, we're not being graded for following directions =)

        Dear 16 year old me,
     You are probably so thrilled right now, you're finally starting to blossom.  Most of your school years, you have felt like an outcast, or if I may be so blunt, an ugly duckling.  You finally learned how to correctly apply eyeliner, and your bra actually fits now too!  You still aren't happy with your body, because thanks to the music videos, magazines, and TV you've been exposed to, you believe that there's only one version of the "perfect girl/woman" and you aren't it.  You see, your generation is the start of a big change.  Yeah, Madonna liberated lots of women some 18ish years ago, but her ideas are nothing compared to what's coming.  I hope you're ready.  Actually, I know you're not.  But there's good news, you won't ever fit that mold of the "perfect girl/woman" that the media portrays - and that's a GOOD thing!!!!  You'll learn (in about 10 years, give or take) that the woman the media and society expect you to be, is far from God's idea for you.  She's NOTHING like the Proverbs 31 woman.  She doesn't have class, or values, she cares more for her appearance than her character.  She seeks to attract men from her physical attributes and assets rather than  her heart and reverence for the Lord.  She thinks that showcasing her flat stomach and long legs are the secret to getting the hottest guy in town.  She believes her breasts are for men to oogle at, rather then to feed future children.  And no I am not saying that breasts cannot be enjoyed visually (BY YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND, not random men), but that is not their main purpose.  And last of all, she is a fictitious and unattainable character.  Chasing after her image will only lead to heartache, heartbreak, and wasting countless hours of your life trying to achieve something that won't ever serve you in the "real world".  Sure, you might get some stares, or some whistles, but that's nothing compared to what you'll feel when you meet the love of your life and marry him on a beautiful February day in 2011.  Most of all though, don't change anything about yourself after reading this letter, because the storm you're going to pass though is necessary to mold you into the person you're going to be.  You are going to think your heart is breaking sometimes, but it's really not.  You are going to lose some friends, but they weren't really friends to begin with.  You're going to make some mistakes, but you will learn from them and be a better person from it.  You're going to have to deal with some really tough stuff in the next few years, but things are working together for the best.  You're going to be strong and happy, and you're going to make a difference in the world!  Hang in there kid =)

3/30 Things - Parents

        Words cannot express how thankful I am to have been raised by my parents.  There are too many adults my age dealing with various issues because of their childhood upbringing.  Now, I'm not saying that my parents were perfect, because they were far from it, but they tried so hard to give me a wonderful childhood.  They had their fair share of "issues" when I was younger (mostly stuff I don't remember) but they stayed together, and worked things out.  Sadly, my father passed away in 2005, leaving my mom widowed and alone (I was living in an apartment at the time, with my ex and my son (who was around 3 at the time).

        Honestly, to this day I believe that everything happens for a reason.  While my parents brought me up to respect myself enough to wait for marriage, I strayed a bit in my teenage years, and wound up pregnant at 17.  Now, am I saying that God planned for me to be a 17 year old mother in an unhealthy relationship?  No, but I believe that things happened so that my dad could have a grandchild before he passed.  He got to spend 3 years with my son, and strangely enough (or miraculously?) at 10 years old, my son remembers his grandpop from his babyhood/toddler-hood and I believe that it has helped form him into the awesome kid he is today.

        Towards the end, I wasn't very close with my parents due to my depression.  I can honestly say that I don't even remember the last year or so of my father's life, and that's been difficult for me to write or talk about... I blocked a lot out from the first few years of my son's life, and that hurts too.  I think the depression was both from the fact that I was in an unhappy relationship and also that my father passed away so suddenly, and I never really had a chance to say goodbye.

        Over the years though, I have forgiven myself and realize that time can't be rewound.  I can only move forward and make the most of life now.  Family is precious and we should cherish and love them.  My mom now lives with my husband, children, and I.  Lots of people think that "living with in-laws" doesn't work out, but this setup is great for us.  My mom isn't lonely, she gets to spend lots of time with her grandchildren, and in turn we get the joy of her company as well.  She is a wonderful and selfless person who loves the Lord and has much wisdom about life to offer.

        I can't make a post about parents though without including my mother-in-law.  She has truly been like a second mother to me over the past 6 years.  Ever since I met her, she has been nothing but wonderful to my son and I.  She is a great Noña to him and is thrilled that she now has a beautiful granddaughter to enjoy also!  She raised my husband into the wonderful man that he is today, and continues to be a strong, inspirational role model in his life.

        In closing, I believe that we are given the parents (or parental-figures) that we have for a reason.  The impact they make on us, whether positive, negative, or whatever it may be, helps to shape us into who we are today and what kind of parents/spouses we will become.  This can teach us a valuable lesson too though, because as parents, our children are watching us and learning from us, we are shaping them for the future, just as our parents did with us!

2/30 Things - 3 Fears

        Fear is a funny thing.  I never understood the popular TV series, Fear Factor, although I occasionally watched out of morbid curiosity.  Some of the challenges, seemed more like "let's be as disgusting as possible to get TV ratings and cause mass vomiting" rather than "man up and face your fears to win $$$". Drinking puree'd caterpillars or laying in a bed full of worms wouldn't exactly scare me, but it would give me the heebie jeebies and I'd probably opt out before the first challenge had even begun.


        Anyway, I think we all have our own idea what constitutes as fear, and our own validations as to why.  That said, here are my 3 Legitimate Fears and how they became so:

1. Bugs - I don't like most bugs.  I find them creepy.  The more segments they have, the freakier they are to me.  Ants are a huge one for me... Owning our own home which came with it's own mini-jungle (untamed wrap-around flower garden neglected by the previous owner for 1 decade+) kind of screams "Please join us for lunch ants!!!!!"  - So we have to be very proactive to keep them at bay during the warmer months... When I find an ant in my kitchen, the whole block knows about it, because I involuntarily let out a blood-curdling scream loud enough to wake the dead.  Spiders, crickets, and other creepy little bugs also gross me out, and mosquitoes just piss me off!  
2. [Origin: I've just been creeped out by them for as long as I can remember..]
3. Disease - I don't like to acknowledge this one, because I like to keep my thoughts positive, but let's be real, it's a fear.  I think my husband has accused me of being a hypochondriac quite a few times over the years, and hey I'll admit I used to be way worse... At the first sign of a headache or a rash on my toe I'd google my "symptoms and the worrying would start.  Lots of praying, reading God's word, and also just realizing I was being ridiculous has sort of helped ease my irrational fears, but the "what ifs" still loom in the back of my head.
   [Origin: IMO, the internet age, the information highway, knowledge might be power but it's scary!]
4. The path my kids choose - This one is something I'm sure every parent struggles with... Am I doing the right things?  Saying the right things?  Will they stay with the Lord?  Will they fall in love, have their hearts broken, get married, have children of their own?  Etc..etc...etc... Obviously it's not a nagging/crippling fear, and I trust God to protect them, it's just one of those things I wonder about... maybe not exactly a fear, but close enough!  Fear for the unknown I guess would be a better description.
   [Origin: Becoming a mom.]

        Well, there you have it.  I'm sure there's more than that, but those were the first 3 I thought of, and felt led to write about!  What are YOU afraid of?

1/30 Things - 20 Random Facts

1. I'm a Virgo, and although I don't follow astrology, my hubby says my personality is pretty spot-on with the description of a "Virgo"
2. Although I've had 3 dogs in my life, I'm not a "dog person" and I never really got attached to any of them.
3. I used to sell Premier Designs jewelry, but I gave up on it after a little less than a year.
4. I tried playing the flute, piano, and karate lessons as a child, and never stuck with any of them.
5. I LOVE coupons, and I get the biggest rush ever from finding a stellar deal, and stocking up... The best part is putting a huge amount of an item in my cart, and also at the check-out lane, watching the amount owed drop!
6. Although I'm now a brunette (and that's my natural hair color), I went blonde for several years as a teen.
7. I took a break after fact #6, to go eat an entire half of watermelon myself... I gave my daughter a piece but she just smashed it.  My belly hurts.
8. I sometimes pretend I have my own cooking show while making food in my kitchen,
9. I love spicy food, mexican food, sushi, seafood, italian food, heck... I love FOOD, but those were my favorites.
10. We sometimes go through 12-16 sticks of butter a week.  (<3 Costco/BJs )
11. I never went to prom.
12. I love high-pulp content orange juice.  Orange juice without pulp grosses me out.
13. I loved being pregnant.  Loved it!
14. I don't drink cow's milk at all, but I will cook with it, and eat cheese, yogurt, etc made with it. 
15. My favorite teacher actually wasn't "my" teacher, she was my son's teacher.   I wish she would have been mine!  She is seriously a real life mother goose.
16. I collect salt & pepper shakers.
17. My favorite shows are The Walking Dead, Grey's Anatomy, Reba (no longer aired), & Full House (ditto)
18. I love playing video games, but I don't feel like there's enough time in the day, or that they are important enough to distract me from everything else in my life, so I rarely play them anymore.
19. My longest job was a waitress for Cracker Barrel, nearly 5 years.
20. I haven't smoked a cigarette since I found out I was pregnant with my daughter over 2 years ago,  but I still miss them often.  I am too strong to go back though!

        There you have it, 20 random facts about me!

Blog Challenge - The Rundown

        So I was looking for ideas to write about, to inspire me in the blogging world.  Trust me, I have plenty to say, but sometimes "blogger's block" gets me, and while I have 20 different ideas flowing through my head at 2AM while I lay in bed, or while I'm folding 3 loads of laundry (of which every single shirt and sock is inside-out, thanks darling husband <3 ), when I actually sit down to write, my thoughts evade me, and I sometimes draw a blank.  

        That lead me to my favorite information highway, aka Google, and I began searching for a blogging challenge.  I've seen them before, on some of the blogs that I follow non-loyally, so I knew about them - just never participated.  After a quick search, I came upon Brown Eyed Girl's Ramblings blog, and decided that this list looked quite fun!  If you like what you see, join in, link up, and accept the challenge!